Orthodox Bumper Stickers

The Onion Dome, a parody/humor site recently held a contest to decide the slogan to use on an Orthodox Bumper Sticker. Here’s some I found amusing:

  • Eastern Orthodox: The only Church with the word “Easter” in its title.
  • You might be orthodox if…
    …you’re 15 and you have Varicose veins!
    …you have rug burns on your forehead for 50 days out of the year.
    …you have the words “consubstantial”, “hypostasis” or “filioque” in your vocabulary.
  • My Church wrote your Bible.
  • Horn Broken, Listen for Anathema
  • You think that’s religious fundamentalism? I’ll show you religious fundamentalism.
  • Orthodoxy — Ancestors you can’t remember are part of our Church
  • Wisdom! Let us attend… to the road!
  • When in doubt, cross yourself.
  • Have you kised your Mother’s Icon today?
  • Your Mother Church — keeping the “Ma” in “dogma.”
  • Orthodoxy: If It Aint’ Broke.…
  • Orthodoxy: Pro-Life, Pro-Christ, Pro-Baklava!
  • Honk if you know what this means: IC XC NIKA
  • Being Saved
  • Universality, Antiquity, Consent
  • Orthodoxy: It’s a very narrow road
  • 51% Atkins-Friendly
  • Not so Close! I may need to do prostrations.
  • Orthodoxy: It’s like Ethnicity without the color!
  • “Uh … smoking, please.” Orthodoxy
  • The Orthodox Church: Not Only Standing for the Truth, But Never Sitting Down Either
  • Orthodoxy: Faithfully maintaining the tradition started at the Tower of Babel.
  • I’m so Orthodox I don’t even change my oil.
  • Orthodox Christianity: Not New, Not Improved
  • Orthodoxy Is My Doxy
  • Orthodoxy: Putting the FUN back in ‘fundamentalism’!
  • In case of rapture, can I have your car?
  • I (heart) Theotokos
  • Fish Sticks have NO BACKBONE!
  • Orthodoxy: Kickin’ it old school since 33 A.D.
  • I’d rather be censing.
  • Eat my antidoron.